Well another exhausting day, maybe I should have gone on benefits when i had the children, and milked the system like others do.

I can honestly say that over the last 4 year my energy levels have gone down. Maybe its depression? am I depressed? who knows

Im having my hair cut tomorrow in a vain attempt to inject some much needed spark into me.
I know its me, and only I can change the way I feel, noone can do it for me.
But no matter how good you may look, if you feel shit inside, you will always see a shit reflection looking back at you from the mirror. Its about how you feel inside your head!

Sometimes I just feel like im on this hampster wheel, going round and around, one week rolling into the next.
And I dont know how to break that

If you said to me "what change would you like" im not even sure I can anwer that.

It really is a funny old game sometimes, life.

I really must knuckle down and earn some extra ££ on the web cams. Thats right, Im a wecam acress of an evening (thats not my day job), but I just havent been in the right frame of mind laterly.

Again all comes back to whats in your head and how you are feeling.
I can pretend im all flirty and sexy, when I feel like shit.
You know im a totally different person to what I was a few years ago.,


Stil havent spoken to my sister after last friday, and to be honest have no intention.
I dont know who the hell she thinks she is.
But she got her gods punishment this week, as even her 2 kids would rather do to the museum than see mummy!!!
What goes around comes around.

Had a strange missed call today at 450 on my mobile, called them back and a man answered. Sounded rather nice, id with held my number so just hanged up.
Im wondering if that Bob who I went on a blind date with last oct, as the number looks kind of familular?
I text them saying whos numbers this, but they havent called me back.

Oh well im off to be, to escape this limbo land that im in, and enjoy some freedom tomorrow on my day off, and whilst the kids are at school.

Well im wondering if anyones reading this. probually not, but I shall type away never the less.

Do you ever wonder what exactly your purpose in life is.
I wonder that al the time. OK im a mother, and a good one, considering I work, run a home and bring up the children singlehanded, but I still feel there something missing.

I have this saying about not being desperate to meet someone, but desperate to meet the right someone. I mean what if one never meets thier right someone.
Does on just have that empty space
And soul mates, do they exist, or do thousands of people like me kling onto the hope that they do, when really you should grab the 1st thing thats bareable.

Have you every had that strong feeling that there is someone out there for you, but you feel they are a million miles away.

I hope you dont think im a mushy romantic, when really actually im a realistic person.
I just wonder about the above.

Im not unhappy on my own, just sometimes wonder why im so darn bloody single. Maybe my own independance has made me like this.
Not a bad thing I guess, being independant.

Maybe next time I shall blog about some of my disasterous dates, and strange ex's sending my pictures of thier dangly bits